Artemis Fowl and the Banana Brigade
by RudolphTheRedNosedPuffin
Summary: Artemis is being followed by little people dressed up in banana suits. He  doesnt think much of it until Butler puts on e on, too. One with pink leggings. But theses Banana Brigaders want something more than money. Please review!


Artemis Fowl and the Banana Brigade

Artemis was typing. He had been typing for three days straight. Butler strode in. "Are you finished yet?"

Artemis didn't answer, just shook his head. Butler sighed. "Artemis, you really need to stretch or something. You've sitting there for three days! Can you just get up for a little while?"

Artemis sighed. Butler was probably right. He just wanted finish so bad…

The doorbell rang, causing him to jump. Butler was already halfway down the stairs when Artemis stopped him. "Wait, I'll get it. You're right; I do need the exercise."

After saving his manuscript, Artemis slowly stood up and went to answer the door. Whoever was on Fowl Manor's front step was obviously getting irritated, as whoever that person was was repeatedly ringing the doorbell. Wincing, Artemis opened the door and addressed the person in front of him. "Hello, how may I help…" he stopped and frowned. There was nobody there. Artemis was about to close the door when he heard a high-pitched giggle come from behind his mother's favorite hydrangea bush.

Striding over to it, Artemis stopped in shock. Behind the large flowering bush was a small child in a banana suit with green leggings. The child was giggling fit to burst.

"Um, hello?" said Artemis. The child stopped giggling and looked up at him, smiling broadly.

"Hello!" it answered. Artemis reeled back. Instead of the high-pitched voice he had been expecting, the child had a deep bass voice. Giggling again, the child shot off around the side of Fowl Manor, leaving a very stunned Artemis behind.

Rubbing his temples, Artemis walked back to the door, only to jump back with a yelp when he saw what was on the front stoop. Another child dressed in a banana suit, this time with purple leggings, stood there.

The child giggled the same giggle as the one before. "I represent the Banana Brigade!" it sang in the same deep bass voice as the first.

"W-what's the Banana Brigade?" asked Artemis.

The banana thing giggled again. "The Banana Brigade is where all your dreams come true!" it sang. It then cart wheeled off the front stoop and disappeared around the same hydrangea bush where Artemis had found the first banana Brigader.

Now completely convinced that he was going mad, Artemis opened the front door. Or rather, he tried to open the front door, but found it locked. Wait a second; Butler would never lock the door while Artemis was outside…

Artemis felt his blood run cold. Those Brigaders must have a key to Fowl Manor! Only him and Butler where home and Butler would never lock him out! He reached over to ring the doorbell and found that a note was stuck to it. Curious, he read it. It said,

_**Artemis**_

_**You are a disbeliever! Disbelievers must die!**_

_**-Brianna Banana-**_

A small picture of a banana was on the bottom of the note. Artemis stared at the letters. Who was this Brianna Banana? What did she mean by disbelievers? And what kind of horrific accident had caused Brianna to totally lose her mind? Maybe he could find out who this mysterious banana freak was on the computer.

Artemis strode over to one of the large pillars that held up Fowl Manor's front porch and inserted his fingernail into a tiny crack, barely audible. A small glass case popped open, containing a silver key. Artemis took out the key and closed the case, walking over to the front door and let himself inside. Suddenly, he had the feeling someone was watching him. He heard a high-pitched giggle come from the kitchen. Slowly Artemis walked over there, trying to be as silent as possible. He opened the door to the kitchen, only to find it empty. _Where did the Banana Brigader go?_ The giggle came again, this time from right behind him. Artemis jumped and whirled around, his jaw opening in shock. Standing in front of him was Butler, dressed in a banana suit with hot pink leggings with an unnatural smile plastered across his face. Butler giggled again.

"_Butler!_?" Artemis asked incredulously. "_Is that you?_"

Butler answered him, but in the same deep bass voice as the other Brigaders. "No, I am a banana now! All hail the banana! The Great Banana will punish you if you do not!" he waved his arms around in the air and jumped up and down. Suddenly he stopped.

"You are not worshiping the Great Banana! You shall pay!" he yelled. Then he sprinted out of the kitchen. Artemis just stood there for a second, his mouth hanging open.

"I have to call Holly. Maybe Foaly will know what is going on." Whispered Artemis to himself. He climbed up the stairs to his room, where he found his communicator. He pushed the button and instantly saw Holly's face.

"Holly, we need to talk. Something really weird is happening, and now Butler is running around in a banana suit with hot pink leggings!" Artemis expected Holly to gasp and try to figure out what was going on. Or go see Foaly. Or maybe even have an answer to his dilemma. But Holly did nothing, only stared straight ahead with a glassy and slightly dazed expression.

"Holly?" asked Artemis. Holly began to speak, but not in her normal voice. It was in a deep, bass voice.

"Do you worship the Great Banana? You are not a worshiper! I must take you to the Great Banana!" she yelled. Her picture began to disappear.

"Wait, Holly! What's wrong with you?" screamed Artemis into the little communicator. But it was no use. Holly's picture had dissolved. Now what was going on? Both the human world _and_ the fairy worlds' people were going mad! And what was with this Great Banana? Why was Butler wearing _pink_? Artemis heard a high-pitched giggle come from behind him. He groaned and turned around. Standing there was Holly, dressed in a banana suit with light blue leggings.

She raised a gun and pointed at Artemis. "The disbeliever must DIE!" she yelled and fired the gun. Artemis didn't have time to scream before everything went black.

Artemis felt as if his head was going to explode. He groaned and rubbed it. Or rather, tried to rub it. He found that he couldn't raise his arm higher than straight out. It was blocked by a costume of…a banana. Artemis struggled to get up. That wasn't easy, especially if your body is shaped like a crescent. He kept falling down and rocking back and forth. Finally, he was standing upright. He looked down and discovered that he had lavender leggings on. He groaned again. If there was one color that he could not stand, it was lavender. He tried to take a step forward, but found that his feet were chained to the wall. It was a bright yellow color, with bananas patterned all over and big, black words that read; THE GREAT BANANA SEES ALL! WORSHIP THE GREAT BANANA!

There was a small window where the only light came through. It was artificial. _I must be underground somewhere._ After his eyes adjusted, Artemis found that the room was large and had many other prisoners were chained to the wall, too. He sat back down and waited to see what would happen.

Artemis did not have to wait long. Soon a few pixies dressed in banana suits and black leggings came in and lined up all the prisoners. Artemis noticed that every prisoner ad lavender leggings that matched his.

They all were marched through a long hallway and into a huge cavern. They were made to stand in front of a roaring crowd of banana-clad fairies. Across a pit of light-yellow goop was a throne set up high above them. Seated in it was a huge figure wearing a banana suit and white leggings with bananas and monkeys printed all over it. It was holding a scepter with a glass banana on top of it.

"People of Bananania! We gather here today to witness the execution of the nonbelievers! We shall throw them one by one into this pit of boiling banana mash! Let us start!" the leader on the throne roared. Artemis realized that that person must be the Brianna Banana person who wrote him that note. He started to sweat as the person first in line was pushed into the pit, arms and legs still bound. The cavern was suddenly uncomfortably hot and those blankets were strangling him! Wait a second, he didn't have any blankets...

Artemis woke up to find that he couldn't move. Disentangling himself from the blankets, he sat up and took a deep breath. It was only a dream. But it had seemed so real…

His train of thought was interrupted with a high-pitched giggle that came from the other end of the room.


End file.
